"On a large poster of the Statue of Liberty, for instance, he [Holmes] scrawled, 'Give me your tired, your weak, your EBV-positive, yearning to be diagnosed.' On another wall, he hang a placard that said, 'Mono Man'. On his door's exterior was another placard: 'Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not after me.'
[...] Holmes's office door was home to a letter composed by the agency's stuff [...]. "Dear Sirs,' it began, 'I am sick...I am so tired, it took me six days to dictate this letter to my secretary.' The text of the letter evoked a grotesque portrait of a hypochondriac. It read, in part: 'I would like a list of recommended treatments...in descending order of trendiness, including acyclovir, gamma globulin, WXYZ-2, 3DOG, Vitamins A, B1 through 12, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P and Q, Zinc, Cadmium, Cobalt, Neodymium, Ytterbium, lecithin, morithin, lessismorithin, sensory deprivation, walking on hot coals, alternating sensory deprivation and walking on hot coals, purified fruit-bat guano injections, and bedrest. I have already tried Valium, Lithium, Haldol, and thoradozine, but they only work when I take them. Please inform me how to get social security and workman's compensation benefits for the abkve diseases. I have had them for over forty years now, and I am only twenty-nine years old'."