That's completely at odds with how I describe my condition to others. For example, I was once on the phone with someone at a physical therapy clinic, and I said "I have no physical limitations in the conventional sense..." then described PEM.
The way I've seen it described by others is that if you "can" do something but it makes you incapacitated for days afterward, you're not really able to do it.
And of course when you are incapacitated (maybe by whatever that is, maybe by a shower, maybe something essential like a medical task) you can’t
I think
@Kitty said once in a thread she’d describe ME as ‘waiting’
And you get so used to the aggression of others plus have respect for everyone but your own situation you spend that waiting rearranging everything to make yourself as trouble free to others still . So it’s a swan thing of trying to stay as invisible as possible in suffering whilst you don’t stop and think is it ok I now just get to dream of the wait to get a shopping order in or a shower after ten days and be grateful for it whilst others have a life of teas with others and holidays snd work and friends snd put all those things they assume above as their ‘needs’ not to lose vs us waiting another two days for that shower or it doesn’t matter apparently if we lose something else - we will just have to get used to it.
except even in those windows where people aren’t bullying us directly by shouting at us when we are in PEM, there is subtle deliberate undermining that they don’t realise they do and flip into like it’s human training (because most people don’t like to help or be considerate - just look at how they line up others jumping to their ‘Im running early’ expecting others to drop things or tradesmen telling you x time early just do you are ready snd wsiting so they don’t wait, and is it definitely increases in most when you are down as having a disability because of the bigotry that means ‘we’re not busy’ when nothing could be further from the truth we just aren’t the vocal elbows out ‘chosen busy’ people - they prefer to therefore’coach’ as if that y it s help but us just arrogance of imposing their own way whilst making the person who can’t do it thru coercion on their timeframe
coaching should only be permitted in a situation where consent and right to withdraw it is 100% protected. And I’m talking outside of ME or disability, where mostly sadly and sickeningly that comes from people with no experience of disability offering their wisdom of how them being lucky means they are better. If you can’t tell the thick person they are the ones being dumb and ignorant - which nearly all the ‘therapists’ and ‘professionals’ bps and establishment contrive to be all we are allowed access to then it’s a situation so bad and coercive of imposing untruth on someone it is hard to find the right extreme of word to describe it. Here’s your bigot coach so that you cave in to tell them their bigotry about you is right and hurt yourself because that’s better than their abuse. Of and ps when it leaves you much more disabled they’ll either refuse to look and acknowledge what they’ve done or say something stupid like ‘it can’t be the illness, you must be a nutter it’s something else’
I find this whole thread traumatic because the ‘space’ some of us have been allowed to exist in in this world is truly so appalling and whilst we get shards of hope eg in 2018 with cdc changes and then physios for me etc so we feel we aren’t invisible and what we say isn’t gobbledygook these horrific people and sentiments and human instincts end up never being called out or won over.
No one else has to battle being swamped in narcissists being told they’ve free rein to kick the dog every single day with no one standing up and even tutting even when they are caught. So we’ve this brazen nonsense written down that should be seen as the type of manifesto that would put them on a watch list for either their mental health and re education or political beliefs or bigotry and needing training and oversight in any position of responsibility due to it , and emperors new clothes with too many wanting to all jointly pretend it’s ‘science’ rather than make believe.
ps the same people I get stuck surrounded by who this cruddy oozy belief you can tell underlies as permission fir them doing the selfish thing (which is what this is) are hilarious when they get a non illness or injury. I’ve spent more time listening to the details if a sore wrist or cold that lasted weeks than they’ve given me for concerning tests results and been told ‘noone wants to hear you go on’ when just trying to have someone help me with a plan of action
I think a lot of this is more about the war of personality types and selfish finding new ways to grabby take and it always be their turn no matter how worn out and chewed up and spat out and more in need those they used are, they are still looking for reasons why they are the victims
yes, of course all of this is created by and then turned into an industry by people who want a cushy way of earning a living that works around their wants and delights of life. And as they don’t need to sell to us because they can get others to coerce us that’s what they do.
no one really cares if it works hence we aren’t asked properly , just coerced to say something nice for the funding sign off. It’s using people as objects but worse.
They can tell themselves they aren’t at the least wasting peoples energy by dragging them in and that people choose to sign up so it must be good - despite the coercion they are part of
but look at how angry and aggressive they get when anyone critiques to make our voices be properly asked - how very dare we
and to me that’s disability bigotry and taking advantage/using in a very insidious way in a nutshell - if someone claiming they are a helper gets sophist, threatening and silencing when those they claim the help is for communicate