This Thursday, almost two weeks ago, I threw out my back, I thought. I slithered to the floor. I knew I had a herniated disc, but I didn't know how bad things were. I have had a herniated disc for a year and a half now. That night, I had to pee constantly. Very quickly I realized, I had done something horrible and life changing. I forced my way into my orthopedic doctor (he was leaving on vacation and had no room). As soon as I came in the office and patients knew I was not well as I scream regularly, everyone stopped what they were doing and tried to help me. He saw me and decided to fit me in. He took one look at me and said, "You will need surgery. I am glad you came in. You absolutely should have squeezed your way into my schedule. You did the right thing." I have seen him for 13 years and he has never recommended a back surgery. He would do whatever to keep me from not having it, but I am contorted, unable to stand upright, I have no reflexes in the one leg and I can't sit really. I can't hold my urine. I had to have an MRI and an x-ray. The x-ray almost killed me. As time goes on, I can't sit on the toilet. I have to pee in a cup standing up. I can't get up out of bed. I am going to order diapers so I don't have to get up due to the pain I have. Today I had to call 911 because I woke up and couldn't move. I see the surgeon tomorrow. The EMT was horrible to me. I was to go to the hospital but I needed to bring my thyroid medication...T3 and he would not allow it. I said, I have no thyroid. I must have it. He said no. I said I am not going then and he said fine and left me in my apartment, underwear off unable to stand without assistance. He came back in and said, "okay, bring your thyroid medication," but I was done. I wanted him out and I called the ambulance here and reported him. Plus, they wanted me to walk down three flights of stairs to get to the ambulance. Um, what for? I don't know if anyone remembers my wrist surgery, but it was the most traumatic experience I have ever undergone. I am Misfit Toy on PR. I was so sick and I had to fight the entire time I was in the hospital. I am scared of the same thing happening. I have no one who will take me. I put an ad up on a local board asking for help to the hospital and no one answered. People said they would take me to my doctors, but not to the hospital for back surgery. I don't know when the surgery is but I am scared to death. I live on the 3rd floor. I need a ride there and I can't imagine going through this alone. Both friends will not help me. I am devastated and thinking of tossing them out as friends. Fucking assholes. Who says no to someone who needs back surgery? Then they email me to ask how I am doing. I am doing great, thanks for asking. Does anyone know of a way I can get to the hospital? Are there services? I need to hire someone to be with me, but I think it costs a pretty penny to have a health care advocate. I am devastated by my situation. If I had heroin (never done it) I would overdose on it just to get out of this awful predicament. Please do not try and scare me out of having the surgery. I am way past that. I can't function at all. A wheelchair would not even be acceptable as I can't be in this kind of pain. I need help. I try to tell myself, could it be worse than this if the surgery goes bad? I guess the answer is yes, but I am peeing on myself and can't sit on a toilet or get in and out of my car or function. At all. Does anyone know what a patient who is alone does in these circumstances? This is my fate. Surgery after surgery alone. Third surgery now alone in three years. Wrist, thyroid and now back.