And I think we have an iceberg of patients who because of the whole situation we are landed in to different extents find it so unattractive to get involved with they don't seek, admit or tell anyone their diagnosis/branding. And of those who do quietly a large amount don't know what they are talking to 'just don't want to get involved with the politics'.
But I don't think this group means if it was a fresh, clean thing more like other serious illnesses and a bit more like DecodeME managed to do - where it stuck to 'this is bad news as an illness, and we just need to start working towards a cure or other biomedical help'.
ie they are as clear in being sick and haunted by how overwhelmed by parasitic opportunists 'wanting to help' instead of getting the basic help anyone would assume would be the bare minimum out there when it's a moment that will if missed caused a scar on your life and future, key time after key time after key time. And just need a break from the stigma and having somehow ended up in this useless pit noone imagines they will be the type to get buried into but just can't have the name of the illness even attached to them to survive in their world that touches people outside the illness (many of whom term trying to sort any one of the million issues we are trapped in as 'being whingers' - hence why I keep saying the empty 'raise awareness' without a plan is not helpful, particularly when there are a million 'wellness types' throwing fatigue at them too they don't know aren't us ie that isn't ME/CFS yet, if we want to rebrand who we are seen as we have to have a joined up plan)
or something like that.
So it not only needs to seem simple and short (but I think the terms are direct and to the point) but be really non-general and somehow bridge more precisely some of the 'but we don't mean that kind of help' iterative issues that make everyone stop short of 'getting involved' even to the extent of filling in a decodeme survey. So people know it is something new and genuinely being done by someone who has gamed it through so that it can't make either the situation or the reputation worse by getting hijacked. Or being a phrase 'anyone can read what they want from'.
And by cynical of the general, I feel with the last few years of what's just happened the severe and more experienced got told by their 'own' to butt out, or cut out, and leave the others to it 'as we know about severe etc, know people will twist things yeah yeah' and they didn't want to hear what they thought was our slow communicating but was telling them its more complex and nuanced than that. Then shafted. and the window of opportunity we tried to slowly build a slow plan to make the most of got turned into the same old by those inside as much as outside.
I can't be the only one and they'd want to hear specifics and nuance so it isn't another misguided person (I'm not talking about s4me in this, and this point is in the general because I know you aren't and we aren't but... we must bear the crosses that there are others who it turns out without that clarity haven't held to such things by the end ) asking to be supported in something they are being ambiguous about.
We can easily manage to nail more complex stuff into shorter 'strapline' type directness once we have agreed on the exact nuance it needs to capture (which needs longer form to discuss often)
I just think I've reached that point where things seem to have gone so bad in recent years, but only coming out now, that anyone claiming to be an advocate or part of a charity should be these days expecting to be asked (and kept being checked up on honouring) now some pretty pertinent things to actually almost swear to about their beliefs and intentions, and the most recent Canary article has made me think I'm not the only one - people will now have to be prepared to confirm who they are, really, in these types of terms/questions - and I think we can? (and there are ways around it being rude by eg saying 'within this the priorities in a way forward are/are not' or something):
- what do you genuinely believe of those who are more severe and do you believe in an approach that really believes that so approaches any 'help' claiming to do as seeing the illness as a spectrum and helping those more mild is 'because I understand what happens when they deteriorate' and we will deteriorate because the systems around us have been designed to cause that unless we reach a very high level of cushioning to avoid needing all of them.
- do you think CBT or any similar talking therapy or mental health claiming approach (or mindfulness, gong chiming or ear buds) is irrelevant in the discussion of ME/CFS noting responses about it being a side-issue or added-extra mean that it shouldn't be on the main topic agenda
particularly because of the harm that term being used ambiguously has caused (ironically in harming people's lives and being of the type that attacks mental health by deliberately being used to implement a dystopia)
and I am also starting to have little alternative conclusion than they just have the Neil Riley type beliefs of the illness being a fatigue condition and that those in worse positions aren't less fortunate due to support network but just need the nightmare scenario of being treated as if they are mad, actively, for failing to have that set-up with CBT of 'how can you keep chasing getting it for yourself and wear yourself down when we know noone wants to help'.
and then there is the issue that those who might get the illness, don't make the next stage required which is to acknowledge and publicly confirm that we have been forced to live in that dystopia and most services or people we come across 'haven't changed' but worse claim they do in order to mislead in looking for a mandate to carry on regardless. If people don't confirm that - lying to themselves it is because they are being nice by not calling out and stopping the harmer with a gentle 'the game's up I see you' politely and letting them carry on harming as they've been misled as to what good kind people do is to call the truth the truth and not side that way because it makes their life easier.
the final question is them acknowledging that unless they are very specific about the ask and checking with pwme who have the 'institutional history' they aren't lessening the chances of the outcome of what they do causing more harm than good because of this habit of things being twisted to be used as another excuse to impose something harmful onto vulnerable pwme.
I don't know how this translates but it feels fruitful in focusing my thoughts for example with the research side of things we have the needing to make sure it is a group of sensible people with enough of a plan and nous as to the size of job but how it might be most efficiently tackled that we get somewhere. so we don't just create funds that get hoovered by usual suspects doing unhelpful research. but we can't stymie and strait jacket things so much noone could
because even when we think, for hope, that that is the one good way out for us one day, well we've had so many lessons we 'got schooled in' even for that