Wonko
Senior Member (Voting Rights)
Friday;
There seems to be no question that my energy levels are too low to go out today, despite the frustration I currently feel about that, and it's also supposed to rain, heavily, this afternoon. So probably an idea to give it a miss.
So far I haven't had all my morning meds/supplements. I have had the porridge/ginseng/cocoa mix - it was horrible. I've also had around 25g of tiger nuts and a portion of lentil and kale soup, which is on the turn but there is only one portion left, it's still edible, and hopefully it will last until tomorrow.
I needed to get some shopping today, fruit, nuts, seeds, milk, that sort of thing, but clearly that will have to wait until tomorrow.
Today, washing (didn't get done yesterday), hoovering, bath, probably not a lot else. I have a couple of small things to do in the loft but pretty sure my left leg won't react well to a ladder, so yet another thing I can't do.
Since I ran out of bread my body is demanding another source of calories to make up for it, despite my eating too much anyway. Seems to be a near inevitable consequence of my actually moving. Last night that was a small portion of air fried chips, at midnight - so not good. Reverse loading is never good, at least for me.
In the last several weeks I have gone from 14st 6lb to 15st 5lb. Some of that will be undigested food, as I am eating a lot more, some of it will be my muscles refilling (I now have muscle tone again), but some of it will be fat. I really don't want to put on any more weight, so a solution that doesn't involve will power will have to be found, as all of that's being used for other things.
I did manage to get around 7 and a half to 8 hours sleep last night, so that's good. After that, not a lot has happened.
I am currently not good at sitting around. TV has no interest to me, the internet is boring, reading, well, that's a bit advanced right now. My mental state is suffering, I need something to push against, even if that's my own broken body (my left calf is still damaged, as is my right hip).
Last night I found out that a requested visit to see my sister, assuming I am still up to it, that I had envisaged as occurring in the next couple of months, is unlikely to happen, to be convenient for her, until bloody August. The chances of my being functional enough to travel 300 miles, each way, and still be worth doing for anyone, are slim to nil. Even if my health doesn't decline further the chances of my having the resources to achieve this are slim, I've already pushed the window my resources were allocated for out twice, adding yet another 6 months, I can't see how I can manage that, my resources are fixed. They were only intended to last until mid February. I am still here simply because I found something that seemed both challenging and interesting to do, that might teach me a little about myself, and because I haven't yet deteriorated to the point where continuing would be pointless.
But bloody August.......
There seems to be no question that my energy levels are too low to go out today, despite the frustration I currently feel about that, and it's also supposed to rain, heavily, this afternoon. So probably an idea to give it a miss.
So far I haven't had all my morning meds/supplements. I have had the porridge/ginseng/cocoa mix - it was horrible. I've also had around 25g of tiger nuts and a portion of lentil and kale soup, which is on the turn but there is only one portion left, it's still edible, and hopefully it will last until tomorrow.
I needed to get some shopping today, fruit, nuts, seeds, milk, that sort of thing, but clearly that will have to wait until tomorrow.
Today, washing (didn't get done yesterday), hoovering, bath, probably not a lot else. I have a couple of small things to do in the loft but pretty sure my left leg won't react well to a ladder, so yet another thing I can't do.
Since I ran out of bread my body is demanding another source of calories to make up for it, despite my eating too much anyway. Seems to be a near inevitable consequence of my actually moving. Last night that was a small portion of air fried chips, at midnight - so not good. Reverse loading is never good, at least for me.
In the last several weeks I have gone from 14st 6lb to 15st 5lb. Some of that will be undigested food, as I am eating a lot more, some of it will be my muscles refilling (I now have muscle tone again), but some of it will be fat. I really don't want to put on any more weight, so a solution that doesn't involve will power will have to be found, as all of that's being used for other things.
I did manage to get around 7 and a half to 8 hours sleep last night, so that's good. After that, not a lot has happened.
I am currently not good at sitting around. TV has no interest to me, the internet is boring, reading, well, that's a bit advanced right now. My mental state is suffering, I need something to push against, even if that's my own broken body (my left calf is still damaged, as is my right hip).
Last night I found out that a requested visit to see my sister, assuming I am still up to it, that I had envisaged as occurring in the next couple of months, is unlikely to happen, to be convenient for her, until bloody August. The chances of my being functional enough to travel 300 miles, each way, and still be worth doing for anyone, are slim to nil. Even if my health doesn't decline further the chances of my having the resources to achieve this are slim, I've already pushed the window my resources were allocated for out twice, adding yet another 6 months, I can't see how I can manage that, my resources are fixed. They were only intended to last until mid February. I am still here simply because I found something that seemed both challenging and interesting to do, that might teach me a little about myself, and because I haven't yet deteriorated to the point where continuing would be pointless.
But bloody August.......
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