This thread has confirmed for me once again that 'ME' is more than one illness.
My illness was never a mystery and it involves a number of distinct phases:
First, there is the initial viral illness. I feel 'odd' and my head is fuzzy. I continue to remain active, ignoring the symptoms. At some point the virus 'does something or goes somewhere' and I develop ME.
Second, I am in the active ME stage. My head is thick, I feel awful but it is also as if I am living constantly beyond the pain barrier. I am also not thinking clearly. As a result I push myself onwards, forcing myself to keep going even though I feel odd. I am in a sense deluded. I think if I can just keep going I'll get better. This phase can continue indefinitely it seems, at least I carried on for two years like this on one occasion. The longer it continues, the worse I am making myself
Third, I am resting but the illness can be set off again by even slightly overdoing it ('overdoing' from a tiny base so even a short walk of a couple of hundred yards). Eventually in the second phase I realize I need to stop. I shut down completely. While I manage to reach down inside of me through the fog and the delusion, to sort of reach base with myself, the illness itself 'comes out' of me and rages like an awful electric storm in my head. I have to wait and rest, and gradually over time, the base grows and I can do a little more, and eventually it seems the switch is turned off and I can actually exert myself to a degree physically while still experiencing the symptoms.
Fourth, I am in recovery mode. I no longer switch the active phase on again. My symptoms remain, though, especially the foggy head, the inability to process information, the sense of living beyond the pain barrier (albeit while experiencing pains, just not aware when active of how I may be doing too much).
I have got to the fourth stage a few times, but keep getting a virus and repeating. Different viruses have this effect so ME (my version) is not one single mystery virus. Upper respiratory viruses (URV) 'go ME' much more easily, so, for example, when I had a stomach virus and was very ill, although I felt it was possible for it to go ME, it didn't. I had one URV in January 2016 and it went ME within a couple of days and I have been stuck in the third phase for over two years.
There is no genetic quality to this type of ME in my view. It was just virus + activity. My immune system is unquestionably damaged. It also seems that I 'go ME' much, much more easily than I did that first time back in December 1985. I do not know whether that is because I have never gone beyond stage 4 into proper recovery or whether once it happens I am permanently damaged.
Because I am living beyond the pain barrier in a strange way and because the illness is always doing something but also always going through different phases, I have no way of knowing when I feel something whether it is just the illness or it is because I really do. This goes for both emotions and for bodily sensations. The only way I can manage the illness is by establishing a routine. I work out what I can do and stick to it. This was particularly important in getting from stage two to three. I would go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time. This was true even when for example I had a particularly bad night in 1992 when the illness was at its worst and I didn't get to sleep till 6:30 am.
I have to follow my routine in order to make sure I do not overdo it, but also it means I know I can complete my routine even though I feel absolutely awful. I'm safe.
It has another advantage in that I do not have to think. My mind cannot handle decisions. By following a routine I have none to make. There was one time when I was living with my parents and the plumber came and turned off the water. I got up and couldn't have a shower. I was in pieces. I went to my room furious and in tears. I was so distressed I banged my head against the wall. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't process the situation. I eventually calmed down and had to work out what I was going to do (as in something basic like having breakfast then a shower).
Over time, as I improve I begin to do more, including going for a walk. When I first start exercising slightly I feel awful but don't trigger the ME. I am pushing at the boundaries of the possible. Gradually this settles down and I can go a bit further. The walk measures how my body recovers over time. Again it's crucial I follow a routine when I am doing this as it's the only way of working out whether I am overdoing it or not. I can only alter one variable, if you like. And I have to monitor things closely with any change just in case I go back to phase two again. I keep asking myself: Am I overdoing it?
You can see from this, I think, where they got CBT and GET from. The ME patients they were looking at were those who had my kind. They mistook helping people cope, helping them establish a routine and then measure improvement over time as the body heals by extending the amount of activity, as a causal link. But it wasn't and isn't. It's maximized pacing with natural recovery.
So, unlike others, I do think establishing a routine, including a pattern of sleep, is very helpful, though only in managing the illness, of course. There is no treatment.