@Liv aka Mrs Sowester My husband and I decided not to even attempt to adopt. The idea of having total strangers poking around our lives and judging us to decide if we could adopt a child just made both of us shudder. And we were also aware of some failed adoptions where the personalities of the adopted child and the adoptive parents didn't work together at all, so we feared the outcome even given the remote chance we were approved. But in reality we would have failed the vetting process because of all these doubts we had anyway. That must have been a terrible decision to make with your remaining embryos. I was "lucky" in that respect - I never had enough embryos to have "spares". On one occasion I had one embryo put back. I ended up in hospital with a query ectopic pregnancy because I was in so much severe pain. An obs and gynae consultant asked me "How many embryos were used?" and I said "One - it was all there was." This was at a time when the standard procedure was to use three. The consultant's response to me was "I'm surprised they bothered." The pain I had turned out to be caused by two large functional cysts - one was 5 inches across and the other was 4 inches across. It turned out I was pregnant in the right place. So I'm glad the IVF clinic "bothered" to put the one back, even though it didn't last.