Understanding, is it necessary in every contact or friendship?

So good, all that you wrote @Louie41. Thank you!

's to you @unicorn7 and everyone. It's so hard navigating all that comes with ME especially the lack of being heard, seen and believed.

Struggling with this big time with a comment made to me from someone who has ME and is in involved in the ME community, they know my situation well and know ME. I think some people can't grasp things for whatever reasons and doesn't matter how much they know or what you say.

And we have blind spots. So many I have had and other blind spots unfortunately I most likely still have. Also not meaning to hurt or do harm, I have said many things that afterwards (immediately or years later) I'm yikes!

So strange some people you can say two sentences and they'll comprehend even if they don't know the extent, others you can write a book and they'll never understand. Basically I'm just wanting to be heard and believed, seen would be great tooo, one doesn't need to understand.
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I guess it comes down to keeping an open heart and open mind. At least that's what I'm trying to do more of. I hope this makes sense, I think I'm rambling, I'm half awake right now.

@unicorn7 I'm glad your friend apologized and let you know how they see what you're going through.

@Louie41 thank you again for all that you wrote and everyone for what you've shared.

Edit: Oh no, I just realized I didn't answer your question. Thankfully Louie and the others did.

 

A lot of wisdom here, thank you so much

My friend turned out to be on the verge of a burn-out. She is now not working, at home and extremely exhausted. So I think that’s where her frustration came from, that she also is really really exhausted. I don’t think she has a lot of people that understand her plus she definitely doesn’t have the amazing support system that I have.
When you are stressed and exhausted, sometimes you just lash out.

I’m really happy it turned out ok. You don’t really make new friends in this situation, so I really want to keep the ones I have. I’m really sorry I have lost so many friends/acquaintances when I was moderate, I find it hard to get in touch with people now, because somewhere I do kind of blame them for not staying in touch themselves, although I do understand that everyones lives just went on. I find this really hard.

 

You're certainly not alone there.

Hopefully your friend will start to feel a bit better soon & will appreciate your understanding. She might find this experience gives her a glimpse into how difficult your life is and maybe your friendship will be stronger because of it.

 

I never had many friends to begin with, one of the benefits of living in a rural area. For me, the one friend who really understood me was one who wound up with CFS via Epstein-Barr (mono.). She was nearly 60 when she passed away in 2012 (I was 32 that year). So that was a major loss because not only did I lose someone who helped me with applying for SSI benefits, I also lost someone who could relate to having the condition even if our 'CFS's' were a bit different from each other. She was also someone who I hung out with and we attended WWII events together. It's been difficult not having someone 'offline'/'in real life' really understand what living with this is like. I've long since given up wasting my energy explaining myself, but if people do ask if I work, I simply tell them the truth with the side of, 'You'll probably hear more about this with regards to Long Covid.' Most are pretty sympathetic. However...

There was one time, just a few years ago...2019 I think. I was a member of a pagan social network and a woman contacted me asking me if I was single, which I am. Then she asked if I work, and I told her that I don't and said why. Never heard from her again. Something told me, to this day, that she wanted more than a relationship, because if she really cared, my 'ability to work/hold down a job' shouldn't have been a factor. I don't want a relationship that is dependent upon my ability to work, because it simply isn't going to happen.