My depressions 1) Overwork , exhaustion , worry about the situation (resolved with rest over 10mths 82-83) No CFS/ME symptoms, 2) 1991 After 6 yrs fight with fatigue despair, hopelessness. Living on momentum and "adrenaline". Despair about future, grief for loss, sick of bleakness of existence. 3) 9 years on after 3 years rest and 3 1/2 work not even momentum nor "adrenaline" left, "wires burnt-out", 7 years anhedonia, avolition with few breaks. Colloquially "finished" and mot imo suprising.
Gaps filled 1991-94 by "eat drink and be merry coz you are already dead", a kind of pre gallows attitude which helped me survive. The doctor who toled me I needed soem fun was right unlike Prince's. But the physical symptoms/signs largely remained. The avolitional period ca 99-07 was resolved by emotional crisis, after which I was like a kind of lame cow (ongoing ME/Lyme/sarcoid?) come out of the shippun (cowshed) in spring and mad for it after 8 yrs avolition and ahedonia high on the release from that state.but still lame with CFS/sarc/Lyme???
Plus in may case high probability of ongoing inflammatory activity of sarcoid/or Lyme.
How can any single theory of depression accommodate that.? Barebones theory, OK, but most of the flesh is in what I say.
(Plus two short-lived but horrible bouts of agitation depression the first which resolved on pretty low doses of diazepam and occurred at transition from avolition and anhedonia) and the second of which occurred when sarcoid and hemophagocytosis appeared and may havealso been related to lead and nickel poisoning and perhaps a "false" hypoxia.
If there's a textbook I probably wrote it. One thing I am sure of none was health anxiety. Anxiety about consequences of failing helath, yes but all that gumph about overmonitoring symptoms etc? My answer, well someone has to.