Psychology Today: Gaslighting Behavior Is a Sign of Weakness

[SNT Gatchaman]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/.../202212/gaslighting-behavior-is-sign-weakness

Not sure this is the best forum but thought it was worth referencing. Focused on interpersonal relationships rather than more generalised medical gaslighting.

Gaslighters are skilled manipulators whose goal is to position their target in a place where the truth is unknowable, and the manipulator’s falsehoods become believable truths. Gaslighters work to isolate their targets from others, which further reinforces the power they wield. If you try to argue back against their lies, they call you crazy.

While we all have heard the term thrown around in the media and pinned on public figures, the truth about gaslighters is that their efforts to manipulate and psychologically torment their targets reflect the inner weakness that is a hallmark of their personalities. In addition, their level of self-esteem is inversely proportional to their drive to manipulate others. They recognize that they have little to offer others in terms of a quality relationship and so they use gaslighting as a means to hook their target and keep them engaged.

 

[Trish]

A good article I think. And it parallels uncannily closely with the way the BPS and LP people behave towards pwME. No wonder the term medical gaslighting has developed.

 

[Ariel]

LOL at the lack of self awareness!

This is amazing.

 

[rvallee]

Gaslighters are skilled manipulators

Not necessarily. Sometimes all you need is a massive power imbalance, no skill required. In fact, gaslighting can be subtle, such as not even mentioning medical gaslighting (unless I missed it) in an article about gaslighting. I think this article desperately wants to make it so that there is a type of people who are gaslighters. This isn't much different than old ideas about a criminal mind or personality type. It's simply false.

Abuse of power is easy. This is why gaslighting is so common in medicine, the total power imbalance makes it happen without any effort, in fact it takes actual effort not to fall for it, since it's so easy.

This is the stuff that makes psychology a joke, the lack of self-awareness is just stunning. The discipline could do so much good, but it always seems to default to confidently incorrect.

 

[Trish]

I think this article desperately wants to make it so that there is a type of people who are gaslighters.

I think in couples relationships, which is what this article is about, it's probably true that some people have it in them to gaslight their partner, and others would never do it. The article is not about medical gaslighting, and there are some differences I think.

 

[rvallee]

I think in couples relationships, which is what this article is about, it's probably true that some people have it in them to gaslight their partner, and others would never do it. The article is not about medical gaslighting, and there are some differences I think.

I agree there are personality types that are more prone to it, especially with pathological liars who don't really see the difference between truth and lying. But gaslighting is far more than that, a lot of it is purely circumstantial. It's usually hard to get away with this behavior in real life, most people object to it, simply don't have to endure it and can simply cut contact with those people.

It's so much easier in a professional setting, and probably far more common, because people are not allowed to go elsewhere. Especially when in our cases objecting to gaslighting is used to gaslight even more. In a medical setting, we are often stuck with this, at least as much as being in an abusive relationship. Only in the US can patients truly go "doctor shopping". For most of us, we are assigned a GP and it's either that or nothing. This is a situation built for gaslighting.

At least it's true in all cases that it's a sign of weakness. You can see the weakness in our gaslighters pushing the BPS model, they often voice it clearly, that they hate not knowing, and choose the gaslighter's way out because it's not just easy, it's encouraged and rewarded. It's still abusive behavior.

 

[DokaGirl]

Unsupportive family, friends and colleagues gaslight pwME by denying symptoms, denying the reality of what the pwME is going through.

The pwME may start to question their own version of their illness. They may doubt they are physiologically ill, when in fact they are.

ME is a biomedical disease. It's not imaginary.