(Irish Times) ‘My partner lives in terror of Covid-19. We even had to cancel our wedding’Ask Roe: ‘She insists I wear a mask all day, and …

Dolphin

Dolphin

Senior Member (Voting Rights)
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I expect there are similar complaints about fears about all sorts of things: radiation, alien invasions, ghosts, etc. I don't see irrational fear of covid being any different. I wouldn't be surprised if weddings were cancelled because someone heard that a 5G tower had been installed nearby.
 
Creekside said:
I expect there are similar complaints about fears about all sorts of things: radiation, alien invasions, ghosts, etc. I don't see irrational fear of covid being any different. I wouldn't be surprised if weddings were cancelled because someone heard that a 5G tower had been installed nearby.
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You are aware that people with MECFS often lose huge amounts of functioning from covid infections? How are we supposed to protect ourselves if the entire world has given up other than by isolating and masking? I hate it but as a severe person I have no other choice other than expose myself to sickness that could destroy the last vestiges of.my functioning.


Your comment is incredibly thoughtless and insensitive.
 
Creekside said:
I expect there are similar complaints about fears about all sorts of things: radiation, alien invasions, ghosts, etc. I don't see irrational fear of covid being any different. I wouldn't be surprised if weddings were cancelled because someone heard that a 5G tower had been installed nearby.
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I got one single covid infection which led to MECFS. I don't care if anyone else masks, but if I'm ever able to leave the house again, I'm going to wear a mask around other people. I already know that I'm in the 1% club of people with unfortunate genetic makeup who can't handle covid long-term.
 
There is no info about the partner’s health.
I get all the latest Covid vaccines, I have to wear an N-95 mask all day in the office, or any time I am indoors anywhere.
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This is normal if you want to avoid an infection. Prevention only works when in use.
This situation has affected my friendships and it’s meant we no longer get to do Christmas with my family (she does not have a relationship with her family). I also turned down a good job promotion because it would have required me being unmasked indoors with colleagues. We also had to cancel our wedding because it was going to be indoors, costing me a few thousand euro. We haven’t eaten in a restaurant in years.
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This sounds like an attempt at a zero tolerance for infections.

Are there jobs that require you to not wear a mask? Perhaps some. Cancelling a wedding is an extreme measure to take, and they could have masked and used air purifiers around themselves for a high risk reduction. He could have met the family alone. But that was not an option for their partner, or required a lot of sacrifices:
If I choose to be unmasked socially, I have to isolate from her for seven days and test negative twice before we can share space again. This means I have to weigh up any social invitation against the cost of living in the basement for a week. We have separate bedrooms, bathrooms and living areas and it now feels like we are just housemates. We are never intimate.
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This really is extreme. What even is the purpose of living together if you don’t really live together?

If I ever get my health back I want to mask consistently. And I would want a partner to do the same. But every gain has a cost, and the marginal gains from some of the measures described here have a very high cost. Most would not think they are worth it, unless it was medically necessary to avoid severe or fatal outcomes.

It must be very challenging to live under these conditions.
 
V.R.T. said:
Your comment is incredibly thoughtless and insensitive.
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I don't see it that way. There's rational concern about covid--or any other infection that has long-term effects--and there are irrational fears about it. Getting hit by a large meteorite can definitely ruin your life, but most people don't hide under armor all the time, just in case. What is the rate of long-term post-covid disability among people who take reasonable precautions, compared to other comparable threats to well-being? Also, people develop ME despite living healthier-than-average lifestyles.

Getting LC or covid-triggered ME is certainly horrible, but how many of those victims worried about it in advance? How many of those did take reasonable precautions and still got infected?

I still think it's not newsworthy that there are people with irrational fears about something.
 
Just wondering: have there been any verified discoveries about factors that affect the probability of developing LC? Diet? Exercise? Sleep? If someone is worried about LC, are there verified guidelines for reducing risks?
 
Creekside said:
Getting LC or covid-triggered ME is certainly horrible, but how many of those victims worried about it in advance? How many of those did take reasonable precautions and still got infected?
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Are you blaming people for getting MECFS from Covid? An illness that nobody's ever heard about outside of this bubble? An illness that wouldn't get any media coverage until this day if it wasn't for covid? Cumin has cured you of MECFS, so where were you warning people in early 2020 and beyond?

Creekside said:
Just wondering: have there been any verified discoveries about factors that affect the probability of developing LC? Diet? Exercise? Sleep? If someone is worried about LC, are there verified guidelines for reducing risks?
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Have there been any verified discoveries about factors that affect the probability of developing MECFS? Maybe enough sleep, diet and exercise would have helped so many people here who caught a non-covid virus and never got better. What an awful attitude.

If anything, you're closer to LC than MECFS. No PEM but some baseline symptoms is exactly what LC is. Sounds manageable in my opinion, yet here you are.

Creekside said:
Also, people develop ME despite living healthier-than-average lifestyles.
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According to who? And who says that's not the case for LC?
 
Creekside said:
I expect there are similar complaints about fears about all sorts of things: radiation, alien invasions, ghosts, etc. I don't see irrational fear of covid being any different. I wouldn't be surprised if weddings were cancelled because someone heard that a 5G tower had been installed nearby.
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I can't read the article, as it's paywalled. The intro bit I can read starts by saying the partner suffers from anxiety, PTSD and ADHD. From the title it seems this serious set of problems is manifesting as very severe anxiety about catching Covid. I think in that context it is highly inappropriate to make fun of them. I hope the individuals concerned can get help and don't experience a pile on of derision like this in response to sharing their problems.

Masking and testing are rational precautions many would do well to follow to greater our lesser extent. I hope the courage in risking thoughtless attacks by speaking out does not deter others from taking sensible precautions and seeking help.
 
OrganicChilli said:
Are you blaming people for getting MECFS from Covid?
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I have no idea what the connection to my statement is.
OrganicChilli said:
According to who?
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I recall a number of PWME who had been athletes, bodybuilders, etc, with extra-healthy (according to whichever sources) diets. So, living above-average healthy lifestyles doesn't prevent developing ME. Does it reduce the % risk? Not enough statistical data yet.
 
Trish said:
I think in that context it is highly inappropriate to make fun of them.
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That was the basis of my initial comment: that whoever wrote the story was exploiting someone's mental illness. People do develop irrational fears that can be life-wrecking, and I think it's wrong to turn that into entertainment for others.
 
Creekside said:
I have no idea what the connection to my statement is.

I recall a number of PWME who had been athletes, bodybuilders, etc, with extra-healthy (according to whichever sources) diets. So, living above-average healthy lifestyles doesn't prevent developing ME. Does it reduce the % risk? Not enough statistical data yet.
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Anecdotal, so why even mention it? You'll find plenty of pwLC who led a similar lifestyle.
 
Creekside said:
I still think it's not newsworthy that there are people with irrational fears about something.
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Why do you assume it is irrational to be afraid of something that is very possibly a real threat, rather than a remote possibility?

I do not have ME, nor have I had Covid, but my wife has had moderate ME for a long time, and the absolute last thing I would want to do would be to contract Covid and pass it to my wife, in case she then went from moderate to severe. So I avoid densely packed work functions, air travel, etc, to try and minimise that possibility. It is not irrational to be concerned about something very real. My wife contracted ME originally following a severe infection coinciding with post-op recovery - only realised something wrong when she never fully recovered.
 
Admittedly, the article describes an extreme situation but as I was reading it I noticed so many things that my caregiver has started doing or avoiding in order to avoid getting sick and infecting me. It has also changed their outlook on health risks and long-term finances, which has already had effects on some big life decisions.

I didn't have to do anything to persuade them. They have been watching me and caring for me since I got ill. That was enough.
 
My partner also takes precautions to protect me. The joker is of course the toddler who gets infected at daycare, although we have donated air purifiers to the daycare to at least give some mitigations. I think society would benefit from taking infection control seriously, it's not just ME/CFS that is associated with infections, but also asthma, allergies, and several autoimmune conditions. And of course no one thinks it's fun to be ill.
 
On mitigations, someone else I know who mask when indoors shared a photo from an elevator in Brüssel, it had been outfitted with both extra air purification and far-uvc lights for infection control and to keep the people working in the building safe. There is a lot that can be done on a structural level so that it’s not the individual that must do all mitigations themselves.
 
Barry said:
Why do you assume it is irrational to be afraid of something that is very possibly a real threat, rather than a remote possibility?
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It's not irrational to be afraid of getting infected; it's a matter of the level of fear and the level of how it affects one's life. I think that a majority of people would consider cancelling a wedding, and using separate bathrooms as excessive fear.

Are those news headlines meant to make people smug about not being as stupid/useless/(fill in appropriate derogatory term) as the person targeted?

On topic I suppose: are contagion-avoidance measures common today? I think I've seen maybe 4 people wearing masks in the last two years. I don't know whether they were wearing them to avoid getting a virus or they knew they had a contagious infection and were being considerate. I'd wear a mask if I knew I had a contagious infection and absolutely had to go into town, but otherwise I have a mask that sits in my glove compartment.
 
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