I came across S4ME over a year ago when I was still undiagnosed, and have lurked here ever since, because of the forums rigorous approach to the discussion on ME and related issues. I feel this is a good moment to give a patient's insight on the FND discussion.
A little background: in march 2019 I was diagnosed with FND, more specifically, FMD: Functional Movement Disorder at the Amsterdam University Medical Center. Late 2018 I started getting a tremor in my left hand, and a small postural tremor in my left arm. Shortly hereafter I develop a tremor in my right leg after which a trajectory of tests was initiated, resulting in a diagnosis 4 months later.
In the interim my untreated anxiety disorder went through the roof, and more and more symptoms developed: I became unstable, got cramps, muscle weakness, fasciculations, internal tremors, sweaty hands, and a bunch I have forgotten by now. My mobility suffered, as did my relationship (which was good prior to the symptoms). I had moved to Amsterdam to live with my GF earlier that year. Both her and my mother were skeptical of the idea that there could actually be something awry, which added to the stress. I had to leave my newly acquired job and started to have real problems with walking, standing and stair climbing. Living on the 4th floor and not having yet established a solid social network in Amsterdam, led to becoming housebound for most days. My GF was not helping much by saying 'this is not the man I fell in love with' and 'I really don't like coming home anymore'.
After receiving my diagnosis she changed her attitude, as did my mother, but my relationship was heading south even further regardless. To wrap up my story: I moved back to my hometown, where I had a large support network in the form of family and friends. Shortly after that I ended my relationship. I had to eliminate the stress and uncertainty of whether I could manage a life and relationship in Amsterdam. Unfortunately the answer was no, in the spring I had further deteriorated to the point where I could barely get from the bed to the toilet 4 yards away. I had to use a wheelchair outdoors, and at moments, even indoors. Now, 6 months on, I can walk a couple of miles a day, cycling goes well (a lifesaver in the Netherlands) and I can dance again for a few hours a week. Prolonged activity will trigger symptoms, as can a flu or inflammation. Each day I will have cramps, pains, and instability, all minor fortunately.
The trigger for my FND was likely the many changes and new challenges in 2018: selling my house, quitting my job, moving to Amsterdam, first time moving in with someone, doing a 'pressure cooker' retraining program as Business Analyst. I was still teaching dance and practicing choreography for events. It was basically my best year ever, everything changed for the better, until in November the system started glitching.
I feel confident in the diagnosis for a few reasons:
- In the tremor registration test determined that my tremors are variable in frequency, amplitude and place. They can be altered by distraction and rhythmic exercises. This is a positive sign, as other organically caused tremors have a fixed tremor frequency and are much less variable.
- The suggested treatments and measures have made a partial recovery possible: removing stressors, neurofysiotherapy to learn to calm the body and retrain movement, medication for the anxiety disorder, mindfulness training, CBT tot learn how to pace myself, accepting things as they are for now.
I tick a hell of a lot of boxes for a predisposition for FND:
- Difficult childhood
- Anxiety that started at a young age (5)
- Perfectionistic in nature
- Always active, always 'on'
- Used to putting the needs of others before my own.
- coping mechanism of pushing through things.
- control oriented
This has led, in my and my neurophysio's view, to a person that is high-strung, anxious, used to pushing the limits, and ignoring or missing bodily cues that call for slowing down. I have been overstretching my CNS and body for close to 40 years.
Ok, enough about me; on to the good and the bad of the label FND and how the FND community relates to the medical field:
First the bad, some will be very familiar to ME-patients:
- Many older neurologists do not recognise FND's or send a patient to a therapist, believing that is the only path. FND patients see on average 19 specialists before getting a diagnosis, I believe the average Time To Diagnosis is 2 years.
- As with ME, it is very important to prevent a boom-bust cycle, prior to diagnose I was bouncing between pacing and pushing myself. Many get worse pre-diagnosis, because the keep pushing through.
- The diverse nomenclature is a chaotic, often archaic mess. There are 60 - 80 labels that refer to FND, some with terms like 'psychogenic' 'hysteric'. 90% of these I reckon are redundant and many stigmatise and confuse.
- The patient community is very fragmented because of this, the largest global FND Facebook pages have around 7K members. In the Netherlands alone there are approximately 85.000 FND patients.
- Although many FND studies thankfully work towards increasing the tangible evidence of structural brain differences, some recent theoretical BPS research still uses terms like 'secondary gains', (having symptoms prevents the patients from getting into a stressful situation). These views are generally scoffed at by the community and rightly so.
- The number of studies on FND is tiny! This is in stark contrast to the large number of patients.
- Only in the last 10 years has some progress been made in terms of diagnosis, treatment and appraisal of the disorder. Many long time patients have gone without diagnosis, treatment, social support for a long time. To add insult to injury many have been labelled mentally ill or malingerers.
- Physios that specialise in FND are far and few between.
- FND belongs, tot my mind, not in the DMS
Now some good news
- The label FND is better than the previous labels, at the very least on surface level with regards to stigmatisation.
- FND and FND-research gets more traction among the younger generation of neurologists.
- As imaging techniques improve, more and more evidence emerges for subtle macro level differences in grey matter, micro level differences in connectivity and differences in functioning of the brain.
- elevated levels of glutamate have been detected in the Limbic System of FND patients.
- Misdiagnoses are few (3-4%), many patients have had MRIs and EEG to rule out organic diseases.
- Jon Stone is generally seen as a force for good in the FND community, I do think that the neurosymptoms site needs updating with the newest research. Much of Dr. Stone's FND work, he has to do in his spare time.
- There are some small, recent studies that suggest that Neuromodulation, mostly in the form of Repeated Trans-cranial Magnetic Stimulation, can have swift positive effects that appear to be reasonably durable. This is a therapy I am pursuing, I will have to go abroad most likely.
- I haven't felt for one moment I was put away as a mental patient, I have come across no stigmatisation on a personal level. The experience very much depends on the Hospital, practitioners, your environment, how it is communicated, and your own perception. I've read just about everything on FND, there is not that much out there, and the tone in the recent studies generally is distinctly different from the research of 15 years ago, for the better.
I am confident (as a well-read lay person) in saying that FND patients have brains that are structurally different, subtly at the macro, at the micro and possibly chemical level.
But are these differences pre-existing? are they the disorder or the brains adaptation to the disorder? I feel we will know a great deal more in 5 years.
Lastly (this post is getting way too long) what I do know, at least from my own experience, is that stress greatly exacerbates my symptoms. The psychiatric treatment I receive is to create the best possible environment for recovery by tackling my anxiety disorder and learning how deal with my new predicament. That is the large psychological component, but it is that, a component.
I'm hungry now, the post ended up not as coherent as I would've liked, but I will be around to add some recent studies.
Now food!
Best, Gaspard