Does anyone have a theory on why the impaired judgement occurs?
Is it just a "I just want to finish this/ I've missed out on so much/ seize the day" thing or do adrenaline and endorphins really impair judgment on a chemical level like when you're intoxicated?
this is a good question and it has made me think that there isn't just one thing like this. I used to have to basically work in this mode a lot and my judgement certainly wasn't impaired, more like at best being in the zone but after a long enough period of time you realise that you weren't really as it affects sleep and PEM and all sorts but those connections take a while.
One the other hand there is indeed something else where I wouldn't say 'high' but things can start bordering on excited or restless.
The main impairment of judgement is mainly only in the judgement of my body's needs ie it wiping out that feedback loop temporarily that we learn we needed to have in order to not end up broken pretty quickly and much worse long term. I say that with certitude (that it isn't the 'light saying that the body is empty' that is faulty and turning on for no reason) because of how I have been one of those with no choice but to push through to and beyond my limits and do some really bonkers things to force my body to turn up based on living in a world surrounded by people who just didn't want to hear it on any of these things. It was that continual overdoing it that broke my body from the point it was to the point it now is.
But of course I think we also have to note how bathed we all are, but some of us to extreme levels, very deliberately, in a real bigotry designed to gaslight us and manipulate us out of hearing our own body and its needs.
I think the sense of 'high' is mainly just not being in pain for once. I mean thinking and talking is actual painful if I had to be accurate on the symptom of where that gets to. It's a level of exhaustion well people can't imagine even if they had a week doing ridiculous days on their feet talking continually to people for 16hrs and had the flu during that - then they need to imagine that carrying on forever and where the 'can't even stand to hear the tv or string words together to answer someone asking a question about dinner headache' and 'my eyes even hurt in their sockets' goes to beyond that. And the bone deep aches and so on.
To then have that lightness of that lifting or be lifted from it so the body feels lighter temporarily well I suspect the only ones we'd have a chance of an anology getting through would be those who have been through some serious nasty illnesses and asking them to imagine how they'd feel if they suddenly surprisingly got handed a good few hours where all those symptoms just weren't there in that magnitude.
I kind of think of that scene from the original film of Charlie and the chocolate factory when grandpa gets out of bed and dances for some reason but it has been a long time since I've watched it so ..
But then there
is a point where I should be fast asleep but the over-threshold hasn't stopped to the point where I'm in rest-mode yet and everythign, particularly my brain and my jaw when talking is absolutely at its max and yet someone is asking me questions and not letting it drop - I've learned with time this
is normally actually (if it isn't me choosing the situation of keeping going after having fatiguability for some reason) people
knowing deep down that they
are taking advantage, because I've studied that it
only but
consistently is done by people with certain personality types/certain people, yes I've been studying my friends and acquaintances closely over the past 7yrs (because strangely whilst my function goes my ability to be picking things up in my attention just not processing it until later, after I have rested, is weirdly there so I have a sort of forensic video to play back even though I can't stop myself talking at the time or manage the situation).
Those people (who push the buttons even when I've told them and given them boundaries explicitly before so could be fully aware and choose to ignore them/won't hear them) are the ones who tend to want to infer
that situation is 'impaired judgement/mental capacity' when it is actually
them perhaps inadvertently (in the sense of they have the wrong end of the stick what it is) playing a disabled person who just at that point can't do the 'cognitive dance' of replying with words
and being considered rather than 'just replying' (but is certainly
not without capacity if not being taken advantage of by this) if being forced to answer quickly, spoken at fast, having words put in their mouth - it is a very different thing. And feels literally like someone is deliberately pushing the pedal with their foot and they know it. then acting surprised but not being.
And something I really do feel that if we had good advocates and law people should be absolutely on the case to stop from happenning or help have a sheet for this situation (although of course hard to get right without running the risks above of making things worse if it was misinterpreted).