'Three best' questions to ask GP if they ignore you

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Wits_End

Senior Member (Voting Rights)
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Dr Raj laid out three crucial questions to put to your GP.
  • What else could this be?
  • Are there any tests we haven't done yet?
  • Can you explain why you think this is normal for me?
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Insist on referrals

If you feel your concerns aren't being addressed, you should request a referral to a specialist. Dr Raj suggested: "If your doctor is puzzled or worse, dismissive, ask for a referral to a specialist.

"Specialists possess more in-depth knowledge in specific areas. For example, persistent muscle pain could be indicative of fibromyalgia.

"That severe menstrual cramp could be endometriosis. Pro tip - frame it as curiosity, not confrontation. For instance,

'I would feel more at ease ruling out X. Can we investigate this with a specialist?"".

Bring support

He also advised bringing a trusted friend or family member to your appointments if you feel your concerns aren't being heard. "Having a reliable friend or family member present at your appointment can make a significant difference," said Dr Raj.

"They can take notes as follow-up questions and back you up if you feel dismissed."

Know your rights

Dr Raj also emphasised the importance of getting a second opinion or contacting patient advocacy groups when needed. He stated, "In most countries you're entitled to a second opinion and access to your medical records, use these rights liberally."

Furthermore, he offered an extra piece of advice: "Pro tip - if you're dealing with a complex or chronic condition, consider consulting patient advocacy groups or online communities for advice."
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  • What else could this be?

My experience this doesn't work, they don't care they have come to a conclusion without concerning what I have said and this isn't going to change it.
  • Are there any tests we haven't done yet?
This also doesn't work because there are no tests for psychosomatic diseases.
  • Can you explain why you think this is normal for me?
They just short cut into the mind controls the body.

The idea there are any rights that we can pull on that can work is also ridiculous. You can complain as far and as wide as possible and no one is capable of helping you. We have seen too many severe ME patients die while in the care of hospitals and doctors with others trying to intervene and finding there is nothing anyone can do to stop them leaving the patient to die. Requesting referrals and support are all the same thing there is nothing that can override this behaviour. Simply when it comes to ME the doctors answer to no one and can do as they please, which is usually inaction that can lead to our death.

I don't think they have quite got the message yet, people are dying and the consultants in charge refuse to listen. Most patients can't get past their GP and have no diagnosis of use and are unable to get referred on. You think we haven't tried this and more, that the right question is going to some how change that level of systemic prejudice and abuse of patients? They have no idea.
 
One thing I struggled with when I was younger was the parental belief that if there was nothing obvious to see, and the doctor hadn't found anything wrong, then there wasn't anything wrong to find, and the obvious explanation for my problems must be laziness. (My parents were obsessed with what they perceived as laziness.) Now that I'm older people use the same criteria i.e. they can't see anything wrong, so they assume I'm attention-seeking, a hypochondriac, depressed, anxious. I include doctors in that too.

I'm 100% convinced my medical records are flagged with various insulting things too. It allows doctors to be immortal, in a way. They can flag a teenager's records and that flag will still be affecting them 50 years later. And as far as I'm aware those flags can never be removed and are the first thing drawn to someone's attention when they open records. Patients certainly aren't told what they are so can't defend themselves. And mistakes in records are very common, yet getting them removed is effectively impossible for the same reason. For most of my life what was written in my records was a secret.

So, knowing "the three best questions" is not going to help at all.
 
Amw66 said:
Yes, one of my sister's in law ( if everyone was married) thinks my daughter chooses to live like this as she can't believe the NHS can do nothing . ....
Catch 22
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Sorry but I have to say that’s pathetic and I can’t imagine how hard someone would be having to try to delude themself on it but it still surely doesn’t quite take , particularly when the post office thing came up and other articles. That feels like it would require consciously trying to force your own eyes closed fingers in the ears level of chosen wilful ignorance type thing ?
 
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Arnie Pye said:
I'm 100% convinced my medical records are flagged with various insulting things too. It allows doctors to be immortal, in a way. They can flag a teenager's records and that flag will still be affecting them 50 years later. And as far as I'm aware those flags can never be removed and are the first thing drawn to someone's attention when they open records. Patients certainly aren't told what they are so can't defend themselves. And mistakes in records are very common, yet getting them removed is effectively impossible for the same reason. For most of my life what was written in my records was a secret.
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I know something is in mine too as GPs that are not mine say let me just read your notes then look up unable to listen anymore.
 
BrightCandle said:
My experience this doesn't work, they don't care they have come to a conclusion without concerning what I have said and this isn't going to change it.
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That's my experience too. Doctors, especially in busy clinics, don't seem to be responsible for the patient's well-being, but rather responsible only for doing the accepted set of tests and prescriptions for the complaints. If nothing shows up on the basic tests, job done, bye. However, the healthcare system would break if we tried to force doctors to do everything possible to solve every patient's medical problems, some of which might be unresolvable with present medical knowledge and technology.

Would better feedback from patients help? Maybe patients should rate each experience with the healthcare system. Was the problem resolved? Did you feel that reasonable measures were taken? The results shouldn't be hidden in bureaucratic databases, but published (with appropriate measures for patient privacy). Then citizens (voters) could see how well the system is working, possibly for specific medical complaints (ME might get a "extremely unsatisfied" rating).
 
MrMagoo said:
If only there was a campaign to help doctors be less dismissive
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I feel like better staffing, work hours, and making everything “less quick” would help. In my experience the “10 minute” appointments are never any use unless you have something obvious, but it’s pretty much impossible to get anything longer on public healthcare.

I obviously think medical culture is most at blamed, but the structure of interactions with the system encourage this dismissive behaviour (through short appointments, overwork etc).

If a professional has 45 min alloted to you they might be able to start thinking less in terms of quick fixes and diagnoses and be more listening and helpful, instead of being 1 hour late with 8 minutes to spare with you max.
 
Yann04 said:
I feel like better staffing, work hours, and making everything “less quick” would help. In my experience the “10 minute” appointments are never any use unless you have something obvious, but it’s pretty much impossible to get anything longer on public healthcare.

I obviously think medical culture is most at blamed, but the structure of interactions with the system encourage this dismissive behaviour (through short appointments, overwork etc).

If a professional has 45 min alloted to you they might be able to start thinking less in terms of quick fixes and diagnoses and be more listening and helpful, instead of being 1 hour late with 8 minutes to spare with you max.
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I’m a bit over giving GPs sympathy to be honest. The 10 min thing is rubbish, but frankly there are people in call centres dealing with angry or upset people, day in day out, who manage not to be nearly so rude and condescending as GPs have been with me. A call centre worker has never called me “stupid” on a call. A GP has.
And a big part of the issues in my area is they started working from home during Covid and they still are. That’s fine some of the time, but there are GP practices who frequently don’t have any GPs on site for whole days at a time.
 
Creekside said:
Doctors, especially in busy clinics, don't seem to be responsible for the patient's well-being, but rather responsible only for doing the accepted set of tests and prescriptions for the complaints. If nothing shows up on the basic tests, job done, bye.
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In fairness to the modern healthcare system, that probably catches the vast bulk of known and (more-or-less) understood serious problems.

Not so well known and understood, on the other hand....

However, the healthcare system would break if we tried to force doctors to do everything possible to solve every patient's medical problems, some of which might be unresolvable with present medical knowledge and technology.
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This.

Though there is the issue of how well doctors and researchers are using existing knowledge and technology, including acknowledging and allowing for its limits.
 
Amw66 said:
Yes, one of my sister's in law ( if everyone was married) thinks my daughter chooses to live like this as she can't believe the NHS can do nothing . ....
Catch 22
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My husband means to be supportive of my health issues, but, I don't let him come into appointments because he won't read research and believes the GP knows what they are talking about. It would make it harder for me if he was always saying "the doctor said to try" or "the doctor says you need to wait longer " or "the tests are negative so it must be ok".
 
Sean said:
In fairness to the modern healthcare system, that probably catches the vast bulk of known and (more-or-less) understood serious problems.

Not so well known and understood, on the other hand....


This.

Though there is the issue of how well doctors and researchers are using existing knowledge and technology, including acknowledging and allowing for its limits.
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I have hypothyroidism which is very well known which has an array of treatment options. But yet every GP I have seen has little or no understanding of how you can still be ill if your TSH is anywhere in range. The nhs rarely tests the actual cruciall hormones of t4 and t3 and nevermind getting your GP to understand what they mean when you present them with private tests because the nhs won't run them. And, only levothyroxine is available as treatment on the nhs unless you won a post code lottery and found an endocrinologist that understands and prescribes t3 as well.

Chances are you had to pay to go private.

So, I have very little confidence that GPs even understand common illnesses
 
The bigger issue in my view is that the system is not very patient-centered and seems to encourage drs to be dismissive.

Drs also seem to have little oversight so can do what they want and only very gross negligence seems to get repercussions.

I do like the idea of giving reviews to drs by patients, but that also has its pros and cons.

The systems seem to be overwhelmed, but that is by design by underfunding and understaffing. To put that on sick people is not right.
 
Chestnut tree said:
To put that on sick people is not right.
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Definitely. If the system wants to focus on providing for easy patients, they should also provide an advocate for the patients with difficult medical problems. A patient who can't deal with bureaucratic difficulties on their own should be able to request assistance from an advocate: one who can actually accomplish something for the patient. My experience with the complaints system in Alberta was not good.
 
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