Exactly.
And it makes me feel less worth now. I want nothing more than getting better, but this is still my life that I have to accept, and it feels like everyone values it so little because all they talk about is how to get away from it.
I have still not spoken to a doctor that’s willing to admit the poor prognosis. They say it’s important to maintain hope, but I’m starting to wonder whose hope they are trying to preserve.
Anyone who uses that hope silencer in any context other than in relation to a big good new research project or being properly, genuinely knowledgeable that eg we can transform the space in which you live to be more manageable and hopefully you can have more from life is just an aggressor.
It's funny see because they've got you because if you call them out for being rude and coercive and incorrect by saying it then they think because they've worded it as some positive intention for you then you can be accused of being a grouch or whatever. A rebrand of minimisation. I believe it's real honest guv that you mightn't get better but am now rebranding it as hope to force you to say the same thing yourself otherwise it's you not saying the mantras out loud 'not helping'.
If their intention in saying it was true and consistent with their claims then they would be doing little nice things that made life better without hurting the illness because they'd heard us and educated themselves. Life really being made worth living. Not us being told we have to say that all out loud so they can lie about reality without us being a hiccup to that.
Actual actions showing things will change because people are now getting it to the extent what they do is now supportive and will give us space to exist without being harmed. Not forcing us to pretend and tell them what they do is OK and will end differently.
God help any one actually allowing someone ill to plan and manage their illness rather than obstructing them to make them more ill with every action because of their own 'issues'.
It's like how now forevermore future birthdays are about the obligation on you to perform as if you aren't terribly ill to make all of those around you feel less bad. Particularly as most of them did the wrong thing to you, ignoring the consequences the first time and so doing it repeatedly until you were where you are. And now they have to pity you and it doesn't strike most to not puzzle how you ended up there because they imposed the decisions that could have made it less worse onto you as not decisions because if you made the wrong one they undermined it to make it just as exerting thanks to this nonsense.
Apparently
I still owe them even though what is really owed is an apology and that to be the size of the consequences they chose for me rather than their preferred 'all I did was' they'd like to minimise it to. LIke saying 'I just stuck my foot out' rather than sorry your broken leg might never be the same after I tripped you up thinking it was a good idea. Fine to claim we both have to put it down as an accident and forgiveness when it happened once and somehow they weren't to know, not when it is 20 times in a row and then thousands and not protecting from the 10,000s of others than happen several times a day (because you half understand
them and would rather they didn't get annoyed with you over stopping harm).
Yea yeah some get awkward and don't know what to say, but people with other illnesses are allowed to, if they are so disposed, say to them that its inappropriate on these types of errors and not get talkback from most. And yet the types we get lumbered with prime everyone that should we do so then it says something about
us.
But that's the cod/anti psychology BS that's been allowed to be dumped on this illness, and everyone's happy because it means this smelly grim part of society that doesn't want to be corrected doesn't have to be dealt with by anyone else if everyone else just does a pact of letting us be their one freebie focus. And boy do you find out how many people have this little bit inside them that just needs to kick the dog.
We all have to remember how hard it is for those having to look at us and to use all our effort to make it easier on them to carry on regardless without feeling bad.
If one of those aspects of feeling bad hidden deep down somewhere is guilt at having the wrong attitude, being callous and doing obstructive things then they should be firmly directing it at the bps stuff and its followers who misled them. Weird how most of them never do.
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