(not a recomm.) How to heal 'chronic fatigue'&CFS/ME/anything (with NLP)

I don't know if this is the right forum section to post this in, but... this was brought to my attention. Has anybody heard of it? Utterly cringeworthy first sentence. Granted, it talks about 'chronic fatigue', but then goes on using the term CFS/ME...

Note the underlined words and the CAPS.

http://www.howtoheal.co.uk/

 

Time for some Christmas spirit. Fruitcake, anyone?

 

Wow, what an exploitative idiot. Any chance she's violating advertising standards?

 

The sight of that woman would make me run a mile. She isn't even wearing a blue cardigan for Christ's sake.

 

She should put her disclaimer on the home page:

"Disclaimer

How to Heal is a non medical approach to recovery from stress and stress related conditions. Keira Henry is a not medical professional and can not give medical advise. If you require medical advise please consult your GP."

...and then just delete the rest of the website.

 

Blog has only been used the once back in 2015, although the site is copyrighted 2017. Wonder if complaints to Trading Standards might be in order.

 

Oh my gosh, absolutely disgusting. So much rubbish...ahhh, the blue cardigan!

 

I think I may be having some of those negative thoughts that are affecting my "healing"

What a load of absolute bollocks. which bit is supposed to be "science. Based"?

 

Note that she does not use just NLP. Oh, no! Such a "soul destroying" illness requires her special blend of NLP, CBT Stress Management, Hypnotherapy, Visualisation, Psycho-neuro-immunology (PNI), Life Coaching and more! To think where I could be now if I had only had the right Life Coaching...

The magic healing chemicals! Why didn't I think of doing that?

We should tell all the researchers! They've been looking for this for years!

Ah, she's giving concrete proof! It must be scientific!

And to think - all this for only £600! A true humanitarian.

Well, she did get that right. [Italics hers.]

But does her method work for everyone?

So for most people, yes! And if it doesn't work for me, well then, I must be doing something wrong and I can blame only myself.

Apparently, this method does nothing for improving grammar skills, though...

So if it doesn't work, I must not want to heal. Got it!

It really is. After all, they're looking at the Lightning Process, which clearly can't hold a candle to this! (See the Testimonials for evidence scientific proof.)

From the disclaimer:

OK, so if it doesn't work, it really is my fault. I GOT IT ALREADY!

It's working for me already, AND I HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED IT!!! I couldn't stop laughing as I read through the Web site, and as we all know, laughter is the best medicine. I FEEL GREAT! How's that for a testimonial?

Exploitative, yes. Idiot? Not if she's raking it in.

 

I guess with so many parts to the process she has 'gotten' used to creating special blends for different clients...makes them feel like they are getting their money's worth I suppose, with the added benefit of not being able to compare notes.

"Yes well mr sloth, you appear to,have a particular problematic strain of belief dysfunction, I've not come across such a unique set, we probably need another session to tweak the blend" " just write out a cheque and Betty will book you a new appointment"...blah blah blah

 

Please note - this is unfortunately a theoretical therapy - and is not my own creation, it's adapted from an episode of "Red Dwarf".

I'm a firm believer in a different type of alternative therapy.

It's called without oxygen therapy (WOT), it begins by placing a therapist in an airtight room, that only I can open once I am cured. The therapist can then attempt to cure me, or do anything else they choose, but the room will not be opened until I have been cured, by an as yet undefined method but one that only a cured person could manage.

It's clearly totally ethical as if the therapist wanted to cure me, and not just take my money, then they would do so and be fine...unless of course they are a con artist talking out of their arse, in which case their fate is passive self defense on my part, also defending others from con artists only interested in exploiting my and other people's illness/disability for their own sick, twisted and exploitative purposes.

 

My advice is that she should practise her spelling first.